marți, 12 august 2008

Proces verbal Mediokratos

La mijlocul listei, in purgatoriu, mai mediocru de atat nici ca se putea, in purgatoriu zac urmarind cum trec trenurile ruginite pe calea ferata veche de 100 de ani. Ma plimb pe boulevard of broken dreams printre ruinele pavilionului de bai care cersesc indurare si ma tarasc ca un vierme turmentat pe asfaltul din care ies aburii emotiilor mediocre.

I 'm living on the fringes of society,ignored and doomed but commited to the harmony of the Universe and gazing at the stars with a glamour of hope.
I just want to take the law into my own hands and kill 2 birds with one stone but they all throw myself on the mercy of the court just because the law of the jungle reigns inside my brain. Nothing can stand in for my own conceptions and I have a trace of remorse thinking about my poor human nature with a touch of concern.
I don't like getting embarked in all these small human troubles, I don't want to live in the society which is robbing Peter to pay Paul , in the society which is keeping up with the Joneses.
I'm just living my protracted misery, trying sometimes to be assertive talking about the revolution against my own state of being. "I'll join with black despair and to myself become an enemy". I don't want to be the featherbrain, the loser,the wrong human being, but I have no clue about who am I for real.
I just won't let myself simmer down solving undemanding tasks, I choose only the most harrowing and gruelling problems to solve , even if I just feel that I hit rock bottom every second.
I want to drift away from my own nature, that's easier said than done, I know and I'm stumbling every day when I have to face my own breathe and to cope with my own existance.
I just live a life in dismay in the middle of the list, mediokratos in the purgatory seeking the hell.
I'm just the woebegone child playing near the craddle of filth, withdrawn and thoughtfully, gathering the ashes blown by the wind and making awkward steps down the boulevard of broken dreams.

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